As the sun receded below the horizon, the light changed to a pinkish orange and the temperature changed to a relaxing cool breeze. An exceptional farewell from the state of Arkansas, the place where I have lived the past summer searching for Christ while ministering with Hamburg’s youth. This journey has been filled with times of excitement, disappointment, humility, and hope. I can’t believe that I have become attached to Hamburg, but I know where I must go. I must seek new opportunities to make disciples of Jesus, the sacrificed Son which holds true life and knowledge, and to meet new faith companions. May the Holy Spirit guide my feet and help me to know the difference when I need to act and when to listen.
Concerning spiritual matters, I’ve learned that God’s time is not determined by my will. As a Christian, I hear that all the time, but there’s a difference between knowing and walking the path. My expectations for my ministry at the youth center were not met, but my knowledge and plans are foolishness in light of what God plans and knows. My best moments this summer were when I accepted that my plans were futile, and that I needed to focus on every individual child that I met. Sure, social injustice still exists, but a seed of hope has been planted so that these kids may break free from their predicament of poverty. If I were here longer, I would have liked to begin uprooting the weeds of oppression that asphyxiate progression and self improvement.
That is another lesson I have learned. I deeply wish to stay somewhere more permanently so that I may develop fruit. I’ve become too acquainted with severing brotherly relationships, saying goodbye to relationships that could grow to be mutually enriching and advancing of the kingdom of God. This will be my goal in the following semesters and summers.
Concerning my partner, Samantha, I don’t think I would be nearly as happy and enlightened if it were not for her guidance. I’ve learned what love truly is, it’s a gift from God where you are made better then you possibly could be, through the grace of God, and by preparing yourself for it. Through our journey, we’ve become more intimately acquainted with our fears, our dreams, and with God. This was done through prayer, holding each other accountable, and reading scripture more often. I deeply missed her and I also learned the importance of having time and space from each other.
Other personal developments I’ve made include me becoming more acquainted with reading for pleasure and writing. I can’t say my writing prose has improved, but blogging has been good practice and I feel more comfortable writing at longer periods of time and writing more content. I’ve been more creative with spending my time, and broken through some of my limiting neuroticism, I feel more confident and filled with life.
Some things that I regret are that I did not realize sooner what needed to be done in my internship. I wasn’t prepared for this kind of humility, patience, and flexible which has been required to do social justice work. Perhaps there is no way to prepare for this.
I know I am leaving on good terms with my employers and church community, therefore I am thankful. I know I have inspired some of the hope deprived in this community and that is a remarkable blessing which I will pray for to continue and grow.
I’m still processing this experience, which means I will cherish these memories for the rest of my life. Wholeheartedly, I recommend that someone break free of the typical, assumed roles of youth ministry. Don’t just host a Sunday school class, host a kickball game, get to know your youth and meet them where they are at. Submit your expectations, and expect that God will be with you in your conversations where-ever you are. Expect it, reflect on it, and pray for it. Remain vigilantly faithful, for the Holy Spirit is still at work in an ebbing society. There is much work to be done.
